Being Organised OR NOT Can Affect Your Relationship!

I was reading a magazine article the other day that mentioned how important it was to be in sync with your partner – so that your relationship flourished.

It was an article about how, no matter what your personalities were, you can work together to ensure that your relationhip thrived – and that you both felt that you weren’t being pushed out in terms of your thoughts and feelings.

This made me think about how our organising personalities can also affect our relationships – in fact, it can be a catalyst to the most severe of relationship issues. Underlying resentment, not feeling heard, living in a home that doesn’t echo you as a person – need I go on!

Think about it for a moment – do any of these scenarios sounds familiar?:-

You walk into the bathroom only to find wet towels on the floor crumpled up, and underwear strewn around…. what a welcome!Your partner is a cleanaholic – and you never feel like you can relax totally in your own home for fear of getting something dirty or moving it from its placeYou can never find anything – your partner is constantly tidying up but never into places that you know about – keys could be in a drawer one time and in a coat pocket the next!The other person constantly makes you late for everything – either by losing things like keys or wallet/handbag, or by not having the directions or invitation to hand so you don’t know where you are going and what time you have to be there (I digress, but this leads me to a very funny story of my own disorganisation – we were due at a party for halloween and I was stressed as we were going to be late for the 1pm start. We got there and with no cars outside thought we had actually missed it altogether as it was now 2pm – when we knocked on the door we were greeted by very bemused hosts – the party didn’t start for another 2 hours! – we helped them set up and everything was fine – but I had mixed up in my head the times of two parties over 2 days – NOTE TO SELF – ALWAYS WRITE IT IN YOUR DIARY AND LOOK AT SAID DIARY EACH DAY!)It is always left to you to ensure everything is done – that theres food in the house, that people have the correct clothes clean and ready for what they are doing each day, that there is petrol in the car, that noone is doubled booked, …… the list is endless

It can be SO frustrating to be in any one of these situations.

Whether you are an organised person or a disorganised person, if your home and lifestyle doesn’t work for you, then you can feel out of control and unsettled – and thats no way to live.

Nowadays we have usually lived by ourselves for a while before settling down and living with our partners, and in this time we have developed our own habits and way of life. We have worked out what works for us, and have enjoyed the freedom to express our own personalities.

This may well be in line with how we were brought up, but may well be in rebellion to our childhood (people who grow up in messy and unorganised homes either follow suit and replicate this in their own homes, or decide that they want to live in an organised way now, and vice versa for those who lived in a very organised and possibly too controlled environment)

When we start to live with who will be our partner for life – if our way of life and therefore our organising personalities clash too much then fireworks can occur.

Your usual habits, your way of life, and who you fundamentally are can be thought to be in question when how you live is in direct opposition to your other half.

Its not a nice way to live – for either of you.

There is no right or wrong way to live your life.

Knowing this is half the battle really, as you can then start to really look at what parts of your lifestyle are most important to you, and which to your partner – and see if you can meet somewhere in the middle.

Just the pure fact that you are reading this means that you are probably somewhat organised, or getting more so – so your partner is more likely to be the one who is more disorganised. Lucky lucky you if your partner is also organised like you!

You don’t need to change dramatically to co-exist in peace – its just give and take and understanding thats required.

I suggest living with each other for a few weeks AT LEAST! and getting a feel for each other before you try and tackle any gripes you have. If you start to criticise from the off then you will only get each others backs up and most likely one or both of you will stop listening altogether.

Its about learning to cohabit together so that you both feel heard and respected by the other person – and to allow each others habits to be understood – while trying to change a little each to become more in sync.

Just as with other aspects of a relationship – over time you will naturally change to be more in tune with each other, but by being proactive you may alleviate the constant niggles and frustrations you have, and even possibly the downfall of the whole relationship.

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